SuckaFree is a 14-user, online, Madden 20 football franchise. The league run by Commissioners Funky and Bowman and started with 5 friends. Over the years, it has grown, shrunk and grown again. It now dominated by 3 stick skill users (Kaso, Hawk and Pickens with a ROY to Rocket.) Those champs do not slide with the rhetoric however as users like Funky, Ant bring the shit talk, swag bang and head hunting conversations to next levels of disrespect. Me? I’m just the resident booty of the squad and hotshot blogger, Levar_Chase. I get my rocks by doing OTHER shit because these dudes be playing their ass off and dogging each other pride like savages. LOL!
Cheezing…
The hottest topic pushing the meter in SuckaFree has been users’ flirtation with the cheezing rules. I ain’t saying nobody GPS or nothing buuuuuut Hawk, Latpack & Mustang were issued warning for jumping that 60pt threshold vs. CPU. Yeah, yeah, yeah… Their defenses was on FIRE. The CPU kept running same plays. What are they supposed to do? Easy homie. Kick a FG. Shit dawg, run that “kill the clock” offense complete with ground game and QB kneels. Gon let the computer tuck its tail and ease out the backdoor. Why? Uhhhmmmm because that’s the rules in this muthafugga. Now, neither of these fine coaches were punished but the Commish is serious about running SuckaFree like a real, freaking franchise and NOT some cheesy, online tournament of money plays.
3 Tiers of Users
While we on the subject of users, it has become apparent that there are three tiers of users in SuckaFree. Once upon a time, there were only bullies and others. Entering Week 8, the bunch is beginning to separate itself into a natural order.
Tier 1-> Stick Skillers
These cats are presumed to be sitting around playing online games all day and honing their basic stick skills to be faster than others. They’re characterized with offenses based on speed, speed and just a little more speed. The thinking is, get faster players and with faster stick skills, they can jump routes for INTs and dominate the edges. Dudes like these build their squads extremely quick because with key positions (HB, MLB), their stick skills are expected to shine. Well, not expected to shine. That online lag ensures their superior stick skills will be efficient AF and they gamble their ass off on big plays. *touche young homies*
Tier 2-> Actual TEAM builders
These dudes are the usually the old heads of SuckaFree. Their strength lies in salary cap workings and matching high level “CPU” players with their offensive & defensive playstyles. They STAY ready for the draft and free agency because they fully intend to fulfill whatever shortages by wheeling and dealing for KNOWN players and first round talent. Cats like TEAM builders take longer to build their squads because they depend developing overall talent and hoping it compensates for their slower stick skills vs. tier 1.
Tier 3-> Playstylers
Yoooo. Remember when Steve Harvey (Kings of Comedy, 2000) told that story about “Black folk be on the side on the lake. Sitting on a bucket with a line and some beer. YOU ain’t fishing! *ROTFLMBAO*”? Well, that would be THESE guys of tier 3, the consummate UNDERdawgs and Madden playstylers. Playstylers are best known for their unique offenses or defenses and typically are run OR pass heavy. They also have a tendency of believing that OTHER users are abusing the system and HIGH ass turnover rates vs. tier 1 and tier 2. Playstylers take the longest to build a team because they need unique, special type of players at key positions like QB and pass rusher.
Barnburner Alert!
Rocket (Eagles) vs. 48Bars (Steelers)
Rocket continues his undefeated streak since entering SuckaFree. His latest match vs. 48Bars ended with a 49-42 victory. Rocket’s NEW weapon, Lorenzo Sutherland from the Dallas Cowboys, wrecked the Steelers defense for 256 yards but handed 3 TD runs to the backup, Bryson Finney. Rocket’s ground game is already tough AF and his trade for Sutherland is looking like the Deal of the Year because the RB works the pass AND run giving him options to threaten opponents. One the OTHER hand, 48Bars did this with freaking Marcus Mariota. MARCUS MARIOTA?! The veteran has responded well to the new team environment and coaching but 5 INTs cost his team the victory.
Ant defeats Funky
In a battle of shit talkers, Ant (Jets) came back to defeat Commissioner Funky’s high level Bills squad. The game was a turnover festival, 13 TOTAL TURNOVERS! Daaaaaaaaaaaaawg… 13?! WTF?!
Funky defeats Kaso
In a game of HOPE, tier 2’s representative, aka Funky, defeated perennial bully and tier 1 rep, Kaso, for the second consecutive game. The league noted it as a game of HOPE because tier 2 defeated tier 1 giving the NON-champs belief and audacity that someone can win the Superbowl. Funky used a stifling defense and superstar CB picked off Kaso twice, giving the stud 3 INTs vs. Kaso in user games. Evidence that the philosophy of TEAM building can work in SuckaFree.
William Vargas, ROLB, Louisville, projected 4th round, Speed rusher, 6’5, 240lbs
Vargas was highlighted for the WRONG reasons this weekend as he continues to struggle with the transition from DE to OLB. Vargas was a terror in the old cover 2 system that allowed him to pin his ears back and hunt QBs. In the new 3-4 defense, Vargas is responsible to defending areas and covering in space. Scouts believe his natural talent will definitely earn his name called on draft day but as his development lags, Louisville fails to improve it’s porous run defense. Last year, the Cardinals were 88th vs. the run and it has fallen to 99th with the defensive change.
Taj Wade, zone CB, Kentucky, projected 1st, 5’10, 210lbs
Kentucky’s Taj Wade earned NCAA player of the week honors for his outstanding performace vs. the high octane Ol Miss offense. Mike Leach has exploited SEC defenses with his uptempo, air raid offenses for several years now. Once doubted, the eccentric coach has pushed Ol Miss into a title contender led by two 1000 yards, deep threat, WRs. Kentucky lost to Ol Miss but Taj Wade intercepted THREE passes and took one for the fabled pick-6.